14. Gazonga's, Superheroines, and Sleep Spray

John and I went to this wings place called "Gazonga's", known for its nice-looking waitresses in little bitty black skirts and low-cut tight-fitting red tops. It's also got giant TVs showing sports on every wall.

 

"John," I said between bites, "this is the most amazing weekend of my life!"

​

"Even after getting punched, and sprayed with what turned out to be water, and watching someone try to kidnap your girlfriend?" asked John.

 

"Well, there is room for improvement," I said.

 

We ate a few more wings.

 

"I knew this girl in high school," I said. "We were really close. Not like boyfriend/girlfriend, but good friends. Her name was Bianca."

 

"Nice name," John said.

 

"Yeah, so we got a movie from Netflix once, called Gotham, " I continued. "It's a real mess of a movie, but at one point, the hero opens a cabinet, or maybe it was a refrigerator, and this naked, dead woman (a very young Virginia Madsen) kind of pours out. He carries her limp body into the bedroom."

 

"I saw that movie," John said. "In the theater, no less!"

 

"Yeah," I continued, "so I'm looking at this scene and I say to Bianca that it's a really sexy scene, especially in such a miserable movie."

​

John exhaled. "I know where this is going," he said.

 

"Yeah," I said. "Bianca suddenly looks disgusted and scared... of me! She calls me all kind of names, turns off the TV and leaves. She's polite to me after that."

 

"But just polite," John added.

 

"Yeah," I said.

 

"I was online one time, just surfing around," John said, "and I saw this message board post where this fellow asked a model if she would do some photos playing dead. She did other sleepy stuff: chloro and even bondage, but she told the guy he was sick, and then a bunch of other models commented, telling her that she was right, and that folks who wanted women to play dead were beyond perverted."

 

"So what's going on with The Game?" I asked. "Are we just really lucky to have found the only women in the world who enjoy this?"

 

"I don't think so," said John. "I think it comes down to trust. A lot of people are afraid these days, and there's very little trust. People are afraid that the guy on the internet is some kind of ax murderer, and not just a regular guy who'd like to talk. But I think that sort of thing swings back and forth. I think this might be the beginning of something, Tommy. Maybe people are starting to want to trust again."

 

"Maybe," I said, but I wasn't convinced. Everyone things the world is changing.

 

We were done with the food, so John paid the bill, and left a really good tip.

 

As we got into his car, John pulled out a slip of paper from his pocket.

 

"It says here," he said, "that I'm supposed to take you to a comic store called Becca's Superheroines on Banner Street for some computer gaming."

 

"I've never heard of the place," I said.

 

"Neither have I," said John, "but then, I haven't been to a comic store since I was seventeen."

 

"I'm pretty good at Metal War," I said.

 

"Oh," John said, "you're going DOWN!"

 

Becca's Superheroines is hands-down one of the coolest places in the world. It's in a strip mall with a pet food store and a hair stylist, and it's kind of off Banner Street, which must be why I never noticed it.

 

The store looks like the headquarters of some superhero society, like the Justice League or the Fantastic Four. "Becca's Superheroines" is in big, heroic letters over the door. In the windows are movie-poster sized comic artwork illuminated by fluorescent lights on all sides: Batman, the Hulk, Supergirl, Wonder Woman. A sign on the glass entry door said "MetalWar LAN Party, Tuesdays at 8PM." Another said "OPEN."

​

When John and I stepped inside, we saw a ton of comics displayed on shelves and cases. The carpet was red, white, and blue with stars and swirl. The walls were painted with the emblems of all my favorite characters, the Green Lantern, Superman, the X-Men, and more.

 

To our right as we walked in was a seven-foot tall lifelike statue of a gorilla with silver bands on its forearms and shins, and "DP" emblazoned on its chest. It's face was contorted in a ferocious, silent roar.

 

"Oh, my God!" I gasped. "It's Dixie Primate!"

 

"Who?" John asked.

 

"Dixie Primate!" I said. "The Amazing Ape of Adventure! The Super Simian! I can't believe it!"

 

"So, you're a fan?" asked the woman behind the counter.

 

My jaw dropped. It was SuperBecca. I mean, it was a woman dressed as SuperBecca. SuperBecca was only a comic book heroine.

 

The woman stood about 5 foot 9 inches tall, and looked to be in her thirties. She had red hair cut shoulder length, and a lovely smile that could melt the heart of Genghis Khan. She was dressed in knee-high red boots, a long-sleeve blue leotard on which was emblazoned the letters "SB", a short red skirt that showed off her lovely legs, a large yellow belt, and a red cape tied around her neck.

​

"You must be the sorority boys," she said with a lovely North Carolina accent. "Welcome! I'm Becca!"

 

"Good to meet you," said John. Then, turning to me, he asked, "What's a dixie primate?"

 

"Dixie Primate," I started, trying to control my enthusiasm, "is one of the heroes in a comic series from this guy in the New Orleans area and this woman named "Becca" in North Carolina. No one knows his real name, except, I guess, Becca, his friends and his publisher. The comics are super-edgy, kind of dark, and amazingly cool. SuperBecca is the main character, but there are a lot of others."

 

I turned to the real Becca. "I can't believe you've even heard of them!"

 

Becca smiled again. "Oh, they're much more popular than you'd think. I like that SuperBecca and I share a name."

 

"And a lot more," I said. "You look just like her!"

 

"Thank you," Becca said with a little curtsy.

​

"You called us 'sorority guys,' " said John, "so I guess Caroline or someone called you."

 

"Darlin', I've gotten phone calls all day long about y'all," Becca said. She looked at me, "You're Tommy, right?"

 

"You've been getting calls all day?" I asked.

 

"You bet," Becca said, stepping out from behind the counter. "First, my niece Lacey calls and tells me about the best Charon we ever had."

​

"You're Lacey's aunt?" I asked.

 

"You know what a Charon is?" John asked.

 

Becca walked past us to the front door. "Yes, and yes," she said. "I graduated in '87. I was a chemistry major."

 

"A chemistry major in 1987?" I asked. "Then did you..."

 

Becca switched the "OPEN" sign to "CLOSED", locked the door, and pulled down a shade to cover it. "Nobody comes by here on a Sunday afternoon," she said.

 

"So wait," John said. "I should know you then. You'd have been a junior or senior when I started."

 

"I used to wear my hair longer, John," said Becca. "And, for a while, I died it black."

 

"Oh, yeah," John said. "I kind of remember you now!"

 

"The second call I got," Becca continued, "was from a lawyer named Kelly."

 

"My best friend's wife," John said, "and a good friend herself."

 

Becca continued, "She called because my niece used to date this creep named Steven. The guy you had put away."

 

I whistled. "Picking on the niece of a superheroine," I said. "That can't be very wise."

 

Becca smiled again. "No, it's not. And we superheroines know how to reward real heroes."

 

Becca walked back behind the counter and produced two game disks. The boxes said "Metal War 2"

 

"Metal War 2?" I asked incredulously. "That's not coming out for another month!"

 

"There are advantages to running a place like this," Becca said. "There are some nice gaming rigs in the back room. You guys might like to have some fun."

 

She set the games down on the counter.

 

"Just boot them up and pop in the disks," she said. "First, though, I'd like to ask a favor."

 

She bent down behind the counter and got a plastic squirt bottle and a white cloth.

 

"That's Sleep Spray, isn't it?" I asked.

 

"You catch on quick, sweetie," Becca answered. Then, in response to John's puzzled look, she added, "Back in the day, I was one of the women who cooked up the first batch of Sleep Spray. Our first thought was that it would be a kind of punishment for the ladies who were really bad at The Game, but we ended up just using it for everyone."

 

"So, what do you want us to do?" I asked.

 

"The store's website always gets a nice lift when I post some video," she said. "I want you, Tommy, to knock me out with this stuff, and I want you, John, to videotape it."

 

She produced a video camera from behind the counter and handed it to John.

 

"You're kidding," John said, but he looked over the camera anyway.

 

"We'll put the video on the site and on YouTube just before the next SuperBecca comic comes out," Becca said. She handed me the Sleep Spray and cloth.

 

"The stuff's not full strength," Becca continued, "and I've kind of built up an immunity, so put some on the cloth and do it like chloroform. I'll probably be out for an hour or so."

 

Becca walked out from behind the counter, while John played with the camera. "I trust you," she said.

 

"Why don't you go over there and look through the SuperBecca comics," I suggested. "Act like you're trying to find the new issue."

 

"Wow! Great idea, darlin'!" Becca said. She walked over to the rack and started looking through the comics there.

 

Then, she stopped. "Oh, and you know, boys, that when I come to, it won't hurt me to put me right back out again," she said with a wink. "In fact, it's kind of fun!"

 

"OK, then," said John. "Action!"

 

"Oh," Becca said, "and since I won't be able to tell you in a minute, have fun with Metal War 2!"

 

"Thanks," said John. "Take two!"

 

Becca rifled through the comics on the shelf while I poured some Sleep Spray on the cloth, careful not to breathe any myself.

 

"Damn!" Becca shouted. "Where are they?"

 

"Looking for something?" I said in a big, deep voice.

 

"Uh," Becca began, fear in her eyes. "No, I..."

​

I walked up behind her and clamped the cloth over her face, my other arm around her waist. "Silly SuperBecca!" I said. "You know the best place to find the new SuperBecca comic is at Becca's Superheroines!"

 

"Mmmmmph," Becca said from under the cloth.

 

"But you still have to wait like the rest of us," I said.

 

Becca struggled a bit longer, and I could feel her wriggle against me and push at my hand on her face. But soon, she grew weaker, and I felt her sag against me. Her hand slowly released its grip on my wrist and fell to her side.

 

I let her down to the floor, careful not to hurt her. I then tossed her over onto her stomach. She was a superheroine rag doll.

 

"Now, the time will pass more quickly for both of us," I said, and let out an evil laugh.

 

John moved the camera around Becca's unconscious form, capturing every angle. I rolled her back onto her back, and John repeated the camera work.

 

"And cut!" John said.

 

"Did you get all that?" I asked.

 

"Did I get all what?" John said, and I pretended to try to hit him.

 

Becca lay still on the floor. She heard none of it.

 

We both watched her a minute. Her skirt was ruffled just enough that we could see the edge of her leotard underneath. Her hair was softly falling on the floor.

 

"I've got to get one of those costumes for Caroline," John said.

 

"Start the tape again, John," I said.

 

John's eye disappeared behind the viewfinder again, and the light blinked red.

 

I lifted Becca in my arms and caried her over to the glass counter. I lay her down upon it, letting her arms extend out over the edge. John read my mind and walked around her again, but this time also photographed her from below, up through the glass top.

 

"And cut," he said again.

 

We both looked at Becca. She was breathing softly, looking so helpless and lovely.

 

"I love my wife," John said, taking one of the Metal War 2 boxes and walking into the back room.

 

"I love my Tina," I said, grabbed my copy, and followed him.

 

About an hour later, after John showed me that he really is good at Metal War, we heard light moaning.

 

This time, I took the camera while John applied the white cloth to Becca's mouth as she lay on the counter. She struggled weakly against him, but soon her eyes rolled back, and then closed again. Her hand, which had been pushing against John's chest, fell across her stomach.

 

John sat Becca's limp form up on the counter, then lifted her onto his shoulder. I was careful to find an angle to shoot so that I could watch her body melt over John's shoulder and onto his back.

 

John walked over to the life-size model of Dixie Primate and set Becca down on her feet against it. He let her slide down the Ape of Adventure's furry form until she was a heap at its feet.

 

After a moment, I said "Cut!" and stopped the recorder.

 

We couldn't really leave until Becca came to again, since she had the keys to the place, and we didn't want to go another round in Metal War 2, so I suggested we try to pose Becca in recreations of some of the panels in SuperBecca comic books. (SuperBecca gets knocked out a lot.)

 

We went through some of the books Becca had on display, including my favorites, End of Innocence and Kryptoform, and videotaped ourselves setting Becca up to look like the comics. We figured she could use the videos or captures on her site.

 

She started to come to around four, which was awkward because we'd had her hog-tied inside a closet.

"What's going on?" she asked groggily.

 

John rushed over from where he was trying to frame the shot and started to untie her. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'll get you out in a minute."

 

"No," Becca said and shook her head. "It's OK, I guess, but what's going on?"

 

I explained my idea and she absolutely loved it. She insisted on us finishing the shot we were doing, and proceeded to pretend to pass out in order to help.

 

When we were done, we untied Becca and showed her the footage we shot. She loved it so much she gave us each a mint-condition copy of End of Innocence.

​

We talked for a little bit about Metal War 2, the comic business, and this and that. Then my phone rang. It was Tina.

 

"Hey, Tommy," she said. "Lisa's grilling some burgers and stuff out by the pool. If you're done looking at comic books, you and John should come over to the House."

 

"Sounds great!" I said, and passed along the news to John and Becca. "Can Becca come too?"

​

"Sure," said Tina, but Becca was shaking her head. She had some guys who come by every Sunday evening for some gaming, and she also wanted to start editing the footage we took.

 

So, we said goodbye to Becca, promising to return soon with lots of paying customers, and headed back to the Sigma Sigma Gamma House.

Continue The Game (15. Burgers by the Pool)

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